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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Sharknado? Wait until you see...


What you are about to read is my proposal for the next series (yes, series!) of awesome shark B-movies for SyFy.  If you wish to make one or all, please contact me and we can discuss options.


Most things start as good intentions.  That's all NOAA was doing.  Tagging and tracking endangered sharks with their ultra-advanced Super Trackers.  The problem is, the technology was too advanced...

On a NOAA vessel off the coast California, sarcastic-but-super smart NOAA scientist Russ Brackens is teaching attractive but way out of his league newbie Lindsey Cuddles the ropes, especially the Super Tracking system.  As he points out the different locations around the world where they're tracking sharks, he uncovers something disturbing.  Many of the sharks off the coast of California aren't hunting independently. They're working together.

An 8.0 earthquake occurs in the area where the sharks were working.  A tsunami is unleashed.  But's that's not the only thing racing for the coast line.  Riding the giant killer wave are a bunch of giant hungry killer sharks!  What the wave doesn't destroy, the sharks do.  And when the water recedes, so do the sharks.

In the aftermath, several other (as of now, unnamed) characters start to put the pieces together.  A Tough Admiral who just wants to retire gets ordered to take over the investigation.  Why?  Because he's spent his career working with Navy marine mammals, training them to find mines, etc.  He knows the water and the beasts within!

Tough Admiral flies out to the NOAA vessel and starts working with Russ and Lindsey.  After examining the data, he figures out the sharks not only rode the tsunami, they caused it.  How?  No idea.  But the shit soon hits the fan because another school of sharks are circling off South America...

The second wave is worse than the first.  Somehow, sharks have figured out how to work together and unleash tsunamis any damn place they want!  Tough Admiral goes back to the tape.  Russ joins him.  Lindsey sees the shark totals and realizes that that is the total number of sharks they're tracking.  All of the tracked sharks are working together.

Russ slaps his forehead.  It's the Super Trackers.  Somehow, the technology has made the sharks smarter and able to communicate.

But how are they causing tsunamis?

We don't know yet, damn it?  What's important is severing the link.  But how to sever the link...

Meanwhile, a giant merchant ship is crossing the Pacific.  A giant merchant ship full of more Super Trackers!

The sharks realize they're being tracked so change strategies.  Rather than sink the merchant ship themselves, they kill one of their own, take the Super Tracker, and plant it on a super giant squid.  The giant squid attacks, pulling the merchant vessel to pieces and freeing the Super Trackers.  The sharks collect them in their mouths and proceed around the world, planting Super Trackers on every predatory marine animal they can find.

Meanwhile, Tough Admiral, Russ, and Lindsey get word about the merchant ship.  Tough Admiral doesn't care because the sharks behavior has changed.  They're no longer working as a group. Instead, they're spreading out across the world.  He thinks the link has broken itself somehow.

Until they notice thousands and thousands of new Super Trackers going active.  Tough Admiral demands to know what was the cargo of the merchant ship.  Russ goes pale - Super Trackers!

A montage follows-sharks attacks!  Crocodile attacks!  Squid attacks!  All around the world, marine predators consume human flesh.  Tsunamis flood every inch of shoreline.  Submarines are destroyed underwater.  It's biblical.

Tough Admiral, Russ, and Lindsey don't have time to worry.  The NOAA vessel comes under attack by the giant squid.  Tentacles punch through bulkheads.  One impales Russ.  He tells Lindsey he loves her before dying.  Tough Admiral pulls her away, telling her time mourn later.  They make it to the helo pad and manage to jump on an escaping helicopter as the vessel is pulled below the surface.

Lindsey wonders aloud what do they do now?  Tough Admiral says they move inland, regroup with other survivors, and figure out how to take the world back from those bastard sharks!

We see the helicopter flying over land into the distance.  Then we pan down on what seems to be a partially eaten dead young man.

Then he opens his eyes.

Sharknami 2: Rise of the Zombies

In the aftermath of the world wide attack by the marine predators, the dead begin to rise.  You see, the Super Trackers have changed the DNA of the predators.  And when they bite, they transmit a toxin that infects the human.  That's right, the bite of these predators cause anyone they don't completely eat and digest to become zombies.

And as we all know, zombies are mortal enemies of sharks because sharks like to eat living things not dead things.  And zombies hate sharks because the sharks made them zombies and all.

Meanwhile, in the MidWest, survivors have rallied and started to plan their counterattack, led by Tough Admiral and a tough-talking martial arts expert named Alexa Ivanovich, a Russian spy who has shed her cover in the US to help.  The initial plans include air bombardments in the shallow waters along coastlines, filling Chesapeake Bay with millions of cattle as bait and then nuking the sharks once they're all in Chesapeake Bay, and setting off Electromagnetic Pulses underwater to disable the Super Trackers.  As they do, zombies attack their headquarters.

Lots of blood and carnage at this point: zombies, sharks, humans.  Lots of running and screaming and escaping narrowly.

By the end, what's left of the humans are hold-up at the top of the Sears Tower.  Below, sharks and zombies battle.  Tough Admiral kisses Alexa, swearing they're going to find a way to reclaim the earth.  That they can't give up hope.

Cut to the San Andreas fault.  A giant earthquake hits, opening a huge deep rift.  When the dust settles, several super big bird eggs are exposed.  When the sunlight hits them, they warm and crack-

Only they're not cracking.  Something's hatching.  And out break baby pterodactyls.

Sharknami 3: Revenge of the Pterodactyls!

Tough Admiral was right.  They couldn't give up hope.  Because hope has just arrived.

As we all know, pterodactyls and sharks are ancient enemies.  Back in way back dinosaur days, pterodactyls ate megalodon sharks like pelicans eat fish today.  And now they're back, breeding like crazy, and frigging hungry.

Problem is, they don't understand the scope of the situation.  They just want to eat sharks.  Tough Admiral knows that to save the day, he needs to point the pterodactyls in the right direction.  With help from Lindsey, they reverse engineer a Super Tracker and start to make new ones.  Only modified.  They capture a couple zombies, plant the trackers on them, and figure out how to control the zombies like drones.

Why?  Well, we all know pterodactyls are very prideful and would never allow a living creature ride them.  But nothing says they won't let a dead thing ride them.

Tough Admiral, Alexa, and Lindsey manage to get their drone zombies onto the back of a couple pterodactyls and pilot them, sending the ancient flying beasts first to San Diego where they clear out the harbor of all predators.

With this new success, it's game on.  More zombies are captured and converted into drones.  More pterodactyls are ridden.  By the climax, the sky is full of them, diving bombing oceans everywhere.

At the end, Tough Admiral, new love Alexa, and loyal friend Lindsey stand on the beach, looking at the calm waves, smoking cigars.

Then Lindsey goes pale.  She asks what are the pterodactyls going to eat once all the sharks are gone.  At that moment, a pterodactyl swoops in low over the water toward them, a smiling zombie on its back.  And both are hungry for humans!

Again, if you wish to make one or all, please contact me and we can discuss options.  These exist purely in synopsis mode above.